real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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