Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
