words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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