Got a toothbrush?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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