if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
