Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
