Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
