doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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