yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
