I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize