shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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