I hate your face
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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