I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize