Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
