There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
