forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
