yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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