I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love having hate sex.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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