Pappa wants mamma naked
I didn't shave. On purpose
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
