the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
