Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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