Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
