her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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