I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
