I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
