I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
