I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
