Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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