Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
