stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
