He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
