ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
