Sry I called you an 8
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
