Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
