My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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