We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
