If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
