Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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