what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize