So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
