Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
