She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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