There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
