you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize