These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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