ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
