her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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