Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
