i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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