these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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