this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
