dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
