Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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