whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh god it's open bar.
Pooping to opera.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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