He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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