Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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