I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
