these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
