we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
