so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
